out of touch, out of time

My aunt will be by to pick me up in a little less than three-and-a-half hours. I should probably start packing. I actually can't remember the last time I packed for a trip more than five or six hours before I walked out the door. I anticipate being back in Provo some time Sunday evening. I don't know if my cell will get reception, and I don't know if I'll have internet access, but I'll try.

Soon, I shall be off to Hawthorne, Nevada. It's a little town about 130 miles southeast of Reno where my dad grew up. My grandparents live there still. Everyone in the family tries to come every-other-Thanksgiving and we have an unofficial reunion of sorts. I am looking forward to the break from classes, but will (hopefully) be working on some papers and a set design while I'm gone. I still haven't quite caught up from October (especially in Doug's class), but we'll see how motivated I am when my belly is full of turkey and there are dirt bikes and quads just aching to get out in the desert and ride. We'll see.

My roommate Elizabeth is not going with me . . . she is on an impromptu trip to Indiana to spend the holiday with a friend. And, my mother also will not be able to join us. She has been stressed out as of late and feels that traveling 800 miles by herself at night each way during the busiest travel time of the year will not ease her anxiety. She is enjoying some quiet time at home, which is good for her. I hope she gets to have a Thanksgiving meal with friends.

When I was growing up, our family traveled to Hawthorne every other summer, or so. I usually disliked these trips quite a bit as the desert is very, very hot and dry (not to mention the 15 hour car drive each way through nothing) and I am a coastal-weather creature. In the past few visits these recent years though, I have come to love Hawthorne and the desert that surrounds it. That tiny town is where my father grew up. I have very little understanding of who he was as a teenager, except for the 8mm film clips of him I've seen air-guitaring CCR songs and walking around with chops and bell-bottoms. Being there (albeit 35 years later) and having him point to the bowling alley and say, "That's where I got my first job: setting pins" or at an abandoned building and say, "That was my elementary school" has really been good for me to see. I learn and understand by seeing. I have enjoyed seeing the setting of my father's childhood.

I look forward to being in Hawthorne again. Since Mom's not coming and CJ will only be there for part of one day, I anticipate spending the bulk of my time biking with Steven, sleeping (ah, blessed sleep, how I have missed thee), or talking with Dad (oh, and homework . . . ha.). Also, I love the smell of the desert. It doesn't compare with the taste of salt on my lips after being at the jetty or rolling down my car windows to more easily smell the fish in downtown Astoria, but it is a wonderful smell.

It is important to love what you have. There is a song that says, "If you can't be with the one you want, love the one you're with". This is not to say that you or I should stop striving for that which we want or that which is most important to us, but when it is an impossibility, we should not shut out potential happiness because it is not our optimum choice. I can't be in Oregon, so I'll try to love Nevada. Even Utah. I'm trying to love Utah.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

die vielen Gesichter von U2

It made me laugh. I thought I should share.

(courtesy of @U2)

Moonlight Mile

I recently purchased the Rolling Stones song "Moonlight Mile" from iTunes. This was one of my favorite songs freshman year, and now I finally own it. I haven't heard it in two years. There isn't anything like coming back to a favorite song after you haven't heard in a while and just letting it sink into your bones.

I'm not a huge Rolling Stones fan in general, but they have a few absolutely stellar songs. This is one of them. I would include "Wild Horses" and "Ruby Tuesday" on that list. I can't think of any more right this moment, but I'm sure there are a couple more.

All I can think is Moonlight Mile, actually.

"The sound of strangers sending nothing to my mind
Just another mad mad day on the road
I am just living to be lying by your side
But I'm just about a moonlight mile on down the road"

I think perhaps I like many things based on positive association. "Moonlight Mile" is not a particularly strong example of this because I found it on my own, but it does bring back memories of freshman year which got me to thinking . . .

Question: Is it unfair to enjoy things (particularly music) because they bring back good memories instead of liking them based on thier own merit?

This is probably one of the reasons I don't seek out and listen to very much unfamiliar music through my own efforts. I have no problem listening to new music with friends (and thereby building new memories and associations . . . in fact, I very much enjoy doing so) but I don't browse on my own or even look up artists people recommend to me.

So, let's listen to some good music I'm not familiar with and make some memories. Decemberists, anyone?

wild strawberry striped filling

The most recent box of American Idol PopTarts lasted me exactly one week.

Now, here I sit, eating the last one. I don't think I will buy PopTarts next time I go to the store. I don't even understand why I like them so much. They don't taste THAT good . . . just sugary and fake and chalky. Someday I will become desperately sick of them . . . .just like I'm sick of Cheetos. I hope it happens soon because I am tired of wanting to eat this over-processed food.

I need to be more creative with what I eat. I think if I had time, I would be. I say that, but I think I know myself well enough to know that if I had more time I would think of some other reason to be lazy about making food. What a terrible wife I will make someday . . .

"Yep, honey. Mac 'n cheese again."

Ultimately, if I had more skill I think I would enjoy cooking and preparing food much more. It takes time to learn those skills. That is something I have rather little of these days.

I wish they came in pouches of one, dangit. I always eat two at a time because I grab two at a time. Good strategy, Kellogg's.

I'm eating from the limited edition Tour Celebration Pack and I can play the Road to Fame Game if I cut out all the little cards and get a die. I don't even like American Idol.

And now I feel kind of sick. Naturally and Artificially Flavored. Blech.